Skotch Tape
by Toby-Margar
Summary: Pistol whipping, torid love triangles, and people who don't know how to eat muffins. Yes, all that and more...
1. Title Goes Here

Warning: Some "foul" language and yes, the guys in this fic are gay. If you aren't too   
cool with that, read something else and don't get mad at us for writing it. Thnx  
Notes: Rampant use of pistol whipping, torrid love triangles and stuff that will probably   
make no sense. If you take this without proper permission, you will be pistol whipped or   
chopped into bits. If really want it and can't live without it then email us and we'll see if   
you are worthy. Have fun!  
  
Disclaimer: As much as we would like to take credit for them, the G-boys are not   
our…except in our heads…then they're ours, as well and the little anatomically correct   
figurines we keep in our underwear drawers. Those are ours too. Oh and the songs that   
Azriel sings aren't our as well. But how cool would it be to take credit for such beloved   
songs as "Songs of the Cebu," "The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps," and "The Pirates   
Who Don't Do Anything." A group of people who created Veggie Tales get to claim the   
bragging rights.  
(Title Goes Here)  
Three figures shrouded in shadows were hunched over a horde of pictures. One   
set displayed a girl at about the age of twenty, long blue hair with two small ponytails   
running down her cheek framing her face. She wore a white wife beater, khaki cargo   
pants, a black ribbon with a star hanging at the hollow of her neck. On the bicep of her   
right arm was a silver arm band which wound around twice. At either end of the band   
was a small red star. A black leather wrist brace helped to not leave her right arm   
completely bare. A tattoo of a flowering vine winding its way around her left arm,   
extended from the top of her shoulder to the back of her hand. Various rings decorated   
her fingers. A belly chain hung loosely on her hips with a long extension of key chains   
hanging down to her knee. On the bridge of her nose was a barbell piercing; the balls   
both scarlet red.   
"Did you find the number on her?" said one of the figures, obviously the leader.  
"No sir," said the figure to his right.  
"But we know she is one of them," the figure to the left said in a genderly neutral   
typical anime villain voice.  
"We have more information about the other two sir." Again the figure on the right   
commented.  
"This is Gabriel S. Parry. He's nineteen years old and seems to be their leader.   
We found his number in between his thumb and pointer finger on his left hand," said the   
genderly neutral typical anime villain voice. He presented a group of photos to their   
leader.   
In this set of pictures was the reoccurring image of Gabriel. The orange bangs   
that stood up from his hairline about three inches immediately attracted your attention to   
his face. The rest of his hair was black and closely shaved to his head. On his left   
eyebrow were two piercings, a barbell on the outside and a loop right next to it. In   
various pictures he wore an eye patch over his right eye. But in others, the patch was   
absent and a cybernetic could be seen wrapped from the top of his eye, below the brow,   
to right underneath. The patch, you could tell, when on only barely hid the cybernetic.   
On the far right side of his lower lip was a lip ring. Along the right side of his face, along   
his jaw-line was a crescent moon; the tips barely peaking onto his cheek. Three small   
hoop earrings decorated his right ear; the other was adorned by five. He wore a short   
sleeved, leather polo shirt tucked into his faded denim jeans. On his shirt he wore a chain   
male neck tie.   
The Leader spoke when noticing the tie. "How does that stay up?"  
The third voice stepped forward, "No one really knows how that works sir."  
"Very well, continue with the blatant description Henchman #2." The Leader   
commanded the third voice.   
At Gabriel's waist hung his holster, home to an antique 9mm Glock. And finally,   
on his feet he wore black work boots where on the hooks, for the laces, were small   
spikes. One picture, which had been buried at the bottom of the pile, displayed Gabriel in   
a bath towel, as he exited the shower. His orange bangs hung down touching the middle   
of his nose. "How did you get this picture?" The Leader stared at Henchman #2, his   
eyebrow raised inquisitively.   
"Under cover mission sir," replied Henchman #2.  
Genderly Neutral Typical Anime Villain butted in, "Yeah, more like under   
covers."  
"And this…" said Henchman #2, presenting the final bundle of photos, "is Rock   
Gaven Ramza, age unknown. We don't know where he fits into the team but as you can   
see he is the third. Strangely enough we have determined he has an immense fear of   
squirrels."  
"Wait, #2, the little fuzzy things, fluffy tails, eats nuts? Those squirrels?" asked   
The Leader a bit surprised.  
"Yes sir." replied Henchman # 2. "As you can see, there is an ornate tattoo which   
frames his face."  
"Wait, wait wait! That's it?" asked The Leader, sounding irritated.  
"Yes sir,"  
"Well describe it. The authors didn't take that long to figure it out for you just to   
say 'An ornate facial tattoo!'"  
"But sir if they go into detail it will take more than a paragraph just for his face.   
"Remember Henchman #2, you can be replaced. Go and do your little voice over   
thing where it seems as if you are narrating."  
"Yes sir," said Henchman #2.  
Rock's face was, to put it mildly, a distraction. His light blond, forever tousled   
hair was nothing to look at, but the facial tattoos were. On his chin was a tattoo of the   
sun, more like a spiral which curled around twice and then connected to itself to form a   
circle. Off from the sun were lines indicating rays of light not connected to it. One line   
ran a millimeter off the top of the sun to his bottom lip. On the bottom, another line, just   
as far from the sun, extended to the bottom of his chin. On either side were lines   
equidistant from the sun which ran all the way up his jaw line and to the hair where his   
side burns began. Along this line were a number of smaller lines crossing   
perpendicularly. At the ends of these small lines were arrow heads. Where the longer   
lines across his jaw line ended, arrows extending from his hair line towards his face   
began. In the middle of his forehead was the longest arrow, the point resting between his   
eyebrows.   
On his body, Rock wore a short black T-shirt with a large Roman numeral III   
sprawled across the chest in scarlet red. The baggy shirt ended an inch or two above his   
belly button where the material had been ripped all around his torso. He wore military   
green shorts which extended down to the middle of his calves. Rock enjoyed sagging his   
shorts, so above the waistband were visible his plaid boxers. Between the shirt and the   
boxers you could see his hard toned stomach. His arms were decorated with red,   
fingerless gloves and a variety of stretchy, rubber bracelets which covered from the wrist   
to mid forearm on each arm. In every picture, Rocks fingernail polish was different. On   
his feet he wore knee high black socks, scrunched down to the ankle and scarlet red   
Converse shoes. The last photo showed Rock stretched out on a bed, shirtless, smiling.   
"Don't tell me," said The Leader smugly, "Undercover work?" Henchman #2   
blushed and hung his head.   
Genderly Neutral Typical Anime Villain decided to change the subject back to   
business. "I have also gained a videotape of a new threat to your plan sir. They are also   
students at Junior Community College University. There are five boys who seem to be   
pilots."   
"Ok they are pilots, what does that have to do with anything?" The Leader   
questioned.  
"Watch the video sir." On the large screen in the front of the room appeared   
pictures of the Gundam Pilots Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei with their mobile   
suits. "We believe that there may be a possibility of the two teams joining forces against   
you. That is why we have brought you this information." Genderly Neutral Typical   
Anime Villain stated. He…She…It looked over to Henchman #2 just in time to see him   
grab a picture and quickly shove it in his pockets. The Leader noticed as well.  
"Let's see it #2." He hesitated. "Now!"  
Henchman #2 presented the stolen photograph which revealed the blue haired girl   
staring into a mirror while wearing only a set of headphones, her bra and boxers.  
"Not her too," cried Genderly Neutral Typical Anime Villain.  
"No…not yet really." The Leader and Genderly Neutral Typical Anime Villain   
both let out a sigh of frustration.  
Henchman #2 interjected. "Sir, I have just noticed a message on the back of this   
picture."   
The picture was a group shot of the three alleged Scarlet Pirates. He held up the   
message for The Leader to see. In bright red ink it read "Stop taking pictures of us you   
perverts!! Signed, The Scarlet Pirates J" The Leader was reaching for the picture when   
out of no where it self destructed, exploding into a million pieces, catching all of the   
other photos on fire. As the smoke cleared, through the charred remnants of the   
laboratory The Leader's voice could be heard.  
"Send in an operative."   
  
The sun was barely visible on the horizon and Azriel was already wide awake.   
Her roommate had spent the night at a frat party and left Azriel to her own devices.   
Never a good idea. She could be heard singing loudly through out the dorm and was   
oblivious to the angry shout she was receiving. Her headphone kept her long blue hair   
close to her head. Already dressed in her white wife beater and cargo pants, she moved   
easily in time with the music. With her eyes closed and totally engrossed in the song she   
was listening to, Azriel belted out the words she knew so well.   
"Barbara Manatee,  
You are the one for me.  
Sent from up above,  
You are the one I love."  
Azriel didn't notice as the door creaked open slowly and a dark figure moved into   
the room. And then instantaneously, the lights were flicked on, the door slammed against   
the wall, a duffle bag was tossed into the middle of the room and a loud "AZRIEL!!"   
could be heard though out the campus. Azriel's eyes shot open and she immediately   
removed her head phones.  
"What are you doing?" The enraged form of Gabriel yelled at her from the door   
frame.  
"Just listening to some music…Gabe."  
"Maybe you should read a book."  
"Oh…ok." Azriel said blandly.  
"And keep the lights off, I'm tired."  
"Where have you been all night anyway? Why are you getting in at what, five in   
the morning?"  
"I had a business meeting, with an associate." Gabriel said in a drowsy voice.  
"Yeah don't feed me that crap, you where at a party weren't you."  
"I'm going to sleep, leave me alone."  
Azriel was determined. "No! I want to know why you were out so long"   
"I was banging a blond frat boy…are you happy"  
"No what was his name?"  
"I don't know"   
"What frat does he belong to?"  
"I don't know. They had vodka" mumbled Gabe as he plopped down on his bed.  
"Ah, Kappa Delta Gamma."  
Gabriel was passed out on his bed at this point. Azriel walked over to him, pulled   
the blanket over his sleeping body, and whispered into his ear  
"You're mom's coming over later today. Have fun."  
  
Gabriel's eyes slowly fluttered open. Bird chirping could be heard from outside   
the window and gentle kitchen noises resonated through the small room from well…the   
kitchenette.  
"Azriel, whatcha makin'?" Gabriel stood up, stretched and walked towards the   
noises, scratching his ass all the while.  
"Good morning Angel Cake!" His mother's voice pierced through the fog of his   
hangover like a bolt of lightning striking his brain.  
"Mom," Gabriel muttered with all the fear of a deer with a rifle pressed against its   
snout.  
"Oh surprised to see me? I talked to Azriel."  
"Oh. Oh really? She didn't tell me." Thoughts of mutilating Azriel raced   
through his mind.  
"I specifically told her to tell you. I always said she was horrible at following   
directions."  
"That's great mom….I have to go to umm uh…" Gabe muttered, checking the   
clock quickly. His mother seized the opportunity to interrupt.  
"Are you getting enough sleep?"  
"Uh, yeah Mom."  
"I'm not your mom I'm your mother."   
"Yes Mother. Um, by the way…why are you here?"  
"I told you that I was coming over to clean out your room."   
"You did that on Saturday. You realize that it's Monday now." Gabe was baffled   
at his mother's logic.  
"Yes but you're in college, and you know how college students live in constant   
filth"  
"That's everyone else who doesn't live with Azriel. I put a cup down on the   
counter which was designed to hold cups and she puts a coaster underneath."  
"Well I don't care. It's not clean enough for me! Just …just look at all of this   
dust here." She walked over to the refrigerator and ran her white gloved finger across the   
very back of the top of the fridge. "See look at this," she shoved her finger right in front   
of Gabriel's nose for his inspection.  
"There's nothing there."  
"Yes there is…look at that!" She moved it between his eyes  
"Mom, that's the fuzz from your glove."  
"No it isn't! And don't talk back to your mother. And what's with this orange   
hair all of a sudden?" noticing Gabe's orange spiked bangs. The phrase Passive   
aggressive ran though Gabe's mind. "And what's with this eyes patch?" She hooked the   
black eye patch which rested on Gabe's right eyes, pulled it towards her and the released.  
"Aw, shit mom!" Gabe yelled as the patch slammed back into his eye painfully.   
She immediately slapped him  
"What did I tell you about calling me mom?!" Anger resonated through her   
voice.  
"I have to go to class.   
"What? You're late again?"  
"No, I decided I would start on my studies early."  
"Alright who are you and what have you done with my son?" His mother asked   
with a hint of concern in her voice.  
"See you later Mom," Gabe walked out the door before she could comment any   
further.  
"I said MOTHER!!!"  
  
Gabe walked frantically to a class room, any classroom to escape the screams of   
his mother. In his haste he didn't notice the thin brown haired boy before it was too late.   
"Sorry," said the boy after they collided.   
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're Heero from Gundam Wing aren't you?!!" Gabe's   
voice was the epitome of excitement. "I love your show."  
"You've never been in a fan fic have you…?"  
"Yeah I was in a Pokemon fan fic once but it kind of fell through.  
"Well you're not supposed to know who I am yet, not until we introduce   
ourselves."  
"Oh ok, I'm Gabriel….I'm a Pisces…and I live with my roommate Azriel."  
"Heero," said the boy in a monotonous voice.  
"Well I know that's your name," Gabe replied matter-of-factly.  
"Armatures," Heero said under his breathe  
"Is Duo here too? Where is he? Gabe was now on the brink of giddy.  
"Cut to the next scene..."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
It was now time for her second class of the day and Azriel was already   
contemplating the night of homework she had ahead of her….either that or the night of   
senseless partying.  
"Azriel!" She heard her name being shouted by a familiar voice.  
"Why is everyone yelling at me today?" She looked up to the sky as if searching   
for her answer there.   
"Hey Az, when are we going on the next raid? I mean I thought it would be this   
Saturday but then I realized…"  
"Rock…..Shut up!"  
"What? What'd I say?" Rock honestly didn't know what was wrong.  
"No one is supposed to know we do anything like that."  
"Serious? I've been using that line to line up tons of hot ass man!"  
"How many people have you told we are pirates?"  
"Well, um... I don't know…more than two."  
"Oh god…" Azriel hung her head in dismay.   
A Chinese boy walked up to them and began speaking. "You must be the 'Scarlet   
Pirates' I've been searching for you. Ever since pirates killed my wife I…."  
He couldn't finish his sentence. The wrath of the authors reigned down onto the   
now lifeless body of Wufei. "Can't have any of that shit in our fan fic," said a female   
voice from seemingly no where.   
"Yeah, straight guys suck." A male voice interjected.   
The female voice once again spoke "Technically…"   
"Let it go Margar."  
Rock looked at the body shocked. "Dude he's like totally dead."  
"As apposed to mostly dead which can be cured with a miracle pill," began the   
female voice.  
"Hey, hey!!! No Princess Bride lines!" the male voice boomed in anger.  
"Let this be a lesson to you Rock if you ever reconsider!" the voice now identified   
as Margar warned.  
"Continue," encouraged the male voice.  
Both Azriel and Rock shifted their gaze from the sky and back to the still lifeless   
body of Wufei.   
"Are we going to get in trouble for this?" Rock looked at Azriel, his face full of   
concern.  
"If we walk away now, no one will know." Rock and Azriel quickly shuffled off   
away from the very dead body, and went to the cafeteria where they found Gabriel eating   
away his sorrow and proclaiming his self pity to some unknown stranger who was   
searching desperately for an escape route.  
"Gabe what are you doing to this poor guy?  
"Thank you!" said the stranger as he quickly got up and ran away.   
"I'm just wallowing in my sorrow, the tragedy of my birth."  
"The world's smallest violin," said Azriel as she rubbed her thumb and pinky   
finger together. "And it's playing just for you."  
"Oh look, muffins!" Rock grabbed one and started munching.  
"You realize you have to pay for that?" informed Gabe.  
"Why do they put it on the counter if I have to pay for it?" Rock just couldn't   
seem to comprehend.   
"So people can see it!" Gabe yelled at Rock, not understanding his stupidity,   
knowing that when he applied himself, Rock was very intelligent.  
"Well that's dumb." Rock spit what he had of the muffin in his mouth back on   
the counter with the half eaten muffin.  
"And why don't they serve alcohol at these coffee houses? I mean with friends   
like you and Rock and that guy that ran out of here… I need vodka! Where is there   
vodka, someone show me vodka." Gabe looked around to see if anyone would offer.   
An employee walked up to the trio and addressed the now alcohol demanding   
Gabe. "I'm sorry sir we're going to have to ask you to leave.  
"You want me to leave? What about that guy that's been staring at me for the   
past hour? Why don't you ask HIM to leave?" Gabe demanded.  
"Sir the entire place is staring at you."  
"Fine!"  
Azriel took his arm and led him out. "Come on Gabe, let's go. We need to talk to   
you about something."  
The trio walked out of The Coffee House towards the library, when in a flicker of   
rose petals a genderly neutral typical anime villain appeared.   
Rock interjected. "Hey these are bits of paper…"   
The genderly neutral typical anime villain responded, "We're working on a   
budget here. Cut me some slack. I've come to deliver your death sentences. My master   
will most enjoy watching you suffer."  
Once again the booming voices from seemingly nowhere were heard "You rushed   
it," said Margar.  
"I did not." Said the male voice indignantly  
"Well where are we going to go with the plot line now Toby? You've completely   
blown the illusion of the genderly neutral typical anime villain being the master mind   
when now everyone knows that it is working for someone!"  
"Well now that you've told then. Some people might not have guessed!"  
"So the chick is Margar and the dude is Toby. Score!" Rock was transformed into   
a toad for the duration of the conversation.   
"We shall not be referred to as 'Chick' and 'Dude' thank you very much Mr.   
Ramza." said Toby. "Oh, oh, oh Margar can I do the narrator voice and the 'To Be   
Continued?'"   
"We need a title."   
"How about Metalic Sky?"  
"What the hell does that have to do with anything in the story?" Margar   
demanded,  
"They fly mobile suits, they're metallic and they're in the sky." It made perfect   
sense to Toby.  
"No."  
"Oh, oh, I've got another one. How about Margar and Toby's Gundam Wing Fan   
Fic?"  
"Ok we don't want to be that too the point."  
"Are we ever going to focus on us ever again? Azriel quickly transforms into a   
camel.  
"Anything you would like to say Gabriel? Genderly Neutral Typical Anime   
Villan? Huh" asked Margar, challenging them to complain.   
"I'm good," remarked Gabe  
"Me too," said Genderly Neutral Typical Anime Villain.   
"Good," stated Margar.  
"Now where were we? Titles." Toby was anxious to get back on task.   
"Can't you just say TBC?"  
Toby began to whine, "But we need a title before the first episode goes out!"  
"Fine how about…A long adventurous mystical journey in another world with a   
serious lesson …somewhere."  
"That one's taken. And just for you saying that we have to put in another   
disclaimer!" Toby was getting irritated.  
  
Disclaimer- The Title A long Adventurous Mystical Journey in Another World with a   
serious lesson …somewhere Is in no way the property of Margar and Toby. That long   
ass title belongs to Ivy, Sayermyst, Adrienne and Margar, but not without the approval of   
the other three.   
  
"There are you happy?" demanded Margar.  
"Yes."  
"Fine. How about Scotch Tape?"  
"Make it Scottish Tape and you have a deal."   
"No."  
"If we leave it Scotch Tape we're going to have to put in another disclaimer. I   
mean we already have to since we mentioned it." Toby did have a good point.  
  
Disclaimer- Scotch Tape is in no way the invention or property of the writer of this fan   
fic which seems to rip off just about everything.  
  
"Hey just which the first C for a K and we're good," suggested Toby.  
"Ok! I now dub this fan fic Skotch Tape WITH A K!" announced Margar   
proudly.  
"Catchy title."  
  
So zoom in next time for another heart wrenching violent sex filled gratuitous episode of   
Skotch tape WITH A K!  
  
Toby yawned. "I'm going to bed."  
"Night Abuelo!" 


	2. Skoztch Tape

Warning: Some "foul" language and yes, the guys in this fic are gay. If you aren't too cool with that, read something else and don't get mad at us for writing it. Thnx  
  
Notes: You may have noticed that the title has changed. This will occur every episode, expect it. Rampant use of pistol whipping, torrid love triangles and stuff that will probably make no sense. Seeing as this is a GW fanfic, all the parody characters will be played by the beloved G-boys.  If you take this without proper permission, you will be pistol whipped or chopped into bits.  If really want it and can't live without it then email us and we'll see if you are worthy.  Have fun!  
  
Disclaimer:  As much as we would like to take credit for them, the G-boys are not ours…except in our heads…then they're ours, as well as the little anatomically correct figurines we keep in our underwear drawers.  Those are ours too.    
SKOZTCH TAPE (the Z is silent)  
  
"My name is Azriel. Right now I'm a talking camel, but I'm hoping that will soon change. Rock is a toad. He actually looks like one right now, but I'm talking about his personality. Gabriel looks normal, damn him! We go to Junior Community College University; it's a trade school. My blood type is...ow!" Azriel abandoned the voice over and turned to Gabriel who was placing his gun back in its holster. "Why did you do that?"  
"Well I didn't pistol whip anyone in the last episode; I have to make up for it in this one." He turned to Rock and pistol-whipped both him and Genderly Neutral Typical Anime Villain.   
Azriel gave an exasperated sigh and continued the voice over. "Whatever. Anyway, as I was saying, we were just a bunch of typical people who were going to school as a cover up for our space pirating organization, when out of no where this guy….girl….thing….came out of a flurry of confetti…"  
"THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ROSE PETALS!" screamed Genderly Neutral Typical Anime Villain  
"Shut up GNTAV. I'm still in voice over. And by the way, that's what you are going to be called from now on. It's too hard to say you whole name."  
"Understandable. OW!" GNTAV yelled as Gabe pistol whipped it once again.  
"Ugh! Would they let me finish! Well, we're not supposed to know it yet, but in the last episode, Gabe met Heero from Gundam Wing. I think he has something to do with the plot. Actually, I DO know he has something to do with the plot. But you're not supposed to know that yet so…act surprised. Rock and I met up with Wufei but we didn't hear him say much before the authors decided he should die. Luckily, we weren't blamed for his death. Praise be to the authors."   
A flash of light engulfed their surroundings. Azriel and Rock were transformed back into their normal states. Azriel commenced to cross herself while Gabe, Rock and GNTAV chorused, "Amen."  
GNTAV stood bewildered for a second. "Um… let's see." It produced a script and began thumbing through. "Where was I…uhmm…hehehe that's funny…oh, ok, here we are."  
Azriel sounded indignant. "Since when you have a script?"  
"All the villains get one."  
"Let me see that." Azriel made a grab for the papers  
"No!" GNTAV shifted the script out of her reach.  
"I wanna see too!" screamed Rock  
GNTAV looked at them and said, "If you saw you would know what's going to happen."  
"Well then why do you get to know?" questioned Gabe. "Now you'll know how to escape all of the ingenious traps and predicaments we create in order to foil you."   
"But the bad guy always loses. It's our only perk." There was a pause. "Not that we're going to lose or anything. We're going to win this time I swear it!"   
A bolt of lightning shot down from the clear sky and ignited the script in GNTAV's hands. It disintegrated in seconds. The booming voices from the sky known as the Authors proclaimed, "You weren't following it anyway." Margar sounded irritated.   
"Next time we're getting Union actors," suggested Toby.  
GNTAV gave a pitiful sigh and continued with what it remembered from the now charred script. "Now for my master plan!" It bent down and picked up a rock. After a few minutes of concentration, during which Azriel, Gabe and Rock could easily have walked away, GNTAV placed the rock back on the ground. The only difference was that it had somehow gained tiny arms and legs. "Get them, Rock Beast!"  
"You've got to be kidding!" Azriel said, trying to stifle a laugh.  
Gabe could not help but laugh and point at the thing. Then, being so provoked, the rock shot out a beam of white hot light, singeing one of his bangs. This enraged Gabe.  
"Let me kick it! I wanna kick it!" Rock was very enthusiastic about kicking the rock. Gabe produced his gun and began shooting at the rock, which commenced to flail its arms in panic. But then suddenly, the rock became nine feet tall, its massive arms and legs still flailing.   
"Can I kick it now?"  
"No, it's too big," cried Azriel  
GNTAV began to snicker. "Too bad you don't have some random parody-driven super hero to save you."  
"That's where you're wrong." Duo appeared from nowhere, his normally brown, braided hair up in two odongos. Wearing his priest outfit, he thrust his hand in the air and proclaimed, "Moon Prism Power!" The classic Sailor Moon transformation music could be heard throughout the campus. Duo went through the traditional Sailor Moon transformation: un-anatomically correct nudeness, ribbons flying everywhere, the growing of breasts and finally a sailor senshi suit with bows and gaudy jewelry.   
"Uh, go fish, Rock Monster."   
"Grrgrurhhrurrr." Duo looked back at the group to see them sitting around a table.   
"Gin!" shouted GNTAV happily.  
"We're not playing Gin," replied Azriel.  
"Gr-yeah-gr," agreed the rock monster.  
"And besides how are you supposed to get alcohol from cards?" Rock said matter-of-factly.  
"Alcohol?" Gabe perked up.  
Trying to grab their attention, Duo jumped on the table to address the rock monster. Azriel could see right up Duo's skirt.   
"No bulge. Interesting." This prompted everyone else, including the rock monster, to look up the skirt.  
"Excuse me! I'm trying to give the repetitious and boring, redundant Sailor Moon opening. Now shut up!" He cleared his throat. "I am Sailor Moon, champion of justice. In the name of the moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil, and that means you." Dou moved his hand to his forehead. "Moon tiara magic!" Just as he was about to let the tiara fly, the rock monster kicked him in the gut and sent him flying back five feet.  
When Duo landed, Rock shouted to him, "I think your attack's too long." He proceeded to give Duo two thumbs up. Turning to Gabe, he asked once again, "Can I kick him now?"  
Before Gabe could answer, a black cat wearing black spandex shorts and a green tank-top landed on the table screaming, "Du…I mean…Sailor Moon!" The cat leapt in Duo's direction. Gabe looked at it bewildered.   
"Was that Heero?"  
Before anyone could respond, another figure landed on the table. It was Quatre dressed as Sailor Mercury.   
"Based on my extensive research on irrelevant and unnecessary data through my earring computer screen I have determined that his weakness is…water. I shall use my Mercury Bubble Blast to eliminate the creature."  
GNTAV yelled, "You're stepping in my drink!"  
Quatre began his mercury bubble blast but was immediately interrupted when GNTAV quickly yanked his foot out of the drink and out from underneath him. He fell flat on his back unconscious, unable to complete the attack.  
Suddenly a rose came flying through the air on a collision course with the rock monster. Just a rose, nothing special. It bounced off.   
"Damn." Everyone looked up to see Trowa dressed as Tuxedo Mask. The only problem was his top hat was half the size of Trowa himself. "Never fails, always hidden behind a mask," Trowa lamented, fingering the mask which hid his face. He took in the scene before him. "Quatre! Um I mean….I'm here to save you Sailor Moon," his gaze never leaving the unconscious form of his blond lover.   
Trowa ran to Quatre and hugged him close. Yet that's not where the commotion was coming from. Everyone glanced back at Duo who was now rolling around on the ground, clutching Heero Cat.   
"Heero, not now," Duo berated. "That has to stay on Heero!"   
The rock monster cleared its throat, roared cutely and proceeded to grow 50 feet tall. "They grow up so quickly these days." GNTAV wiped its eyes.  
Trowa detached himself from Quatre's lips. "We have to combine powers in order to defeat it." As Trowa spoke, the rock monster happily traipsed through the campus destroying many buildings, humming all the while.  
"I'm up for switching schools," suggested Gabe  
"Yeah the tuition is kind of high here, even for a trade school," concurred Azriel.  
Then in a swish of cackling laughter, Relena Peacecraft appeared wearing a skimpy purple dress.  
"I am queen Beryl. I am here to destroy your world with the help of my trusty assistant, Wuf…I mean Malachite." Wufei appeared standing next to her, dressed as Malachite.   
"Hahaha you thought you could kill me off didn't you. But now look who's laughing." Everyone stood and listened to Wufei's laughter, waiting for a handy plot device to save them.  
Rock broke form the group and walked up the rampaging rock monster. He proceeded to kick it gently on the monster's left big toe. GNTAV wailed in agony. "NO! He found the super secret 'Do not hit' spot."  
Azriel stared at GNTAV, "Are there ANY creative names where you come from?"  
Wufei began speaking. "As I was saying, ever since my wife was killed by…"  
A large piece of the crumbling rock monster landed on Wufei and Relena killing them instantly. Duo let out a happy yelp and began to dance around with Heero.   
An elderly fat man approached the group. Before he reached them, Duo, Heero, Quatre and Trowa ran off, not wanting to face school administration. GNTAV disappeared in flurry of confetti.   
"ROSE PETALS!! THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ROSE PETALS!!" GNTAV quickly became a penguin and vanished.  
"You three, are you responsible for this chaos? This mess?" asked the portly man, who was actually the dean of the trade school.  
"It was a rock," supplied Azriel.  
The man turned to Rock, "Rock, what have I told you about….."  
Gabe interjected, "No, no, no, a giant laser blasting rock did this."  
"I've never seen or heard anything more absurd than…" the dean froze in place. The booming voices of Toby and Margar…boomed.  
"Don't worry, we'll take care of everything," assured Margar.  
"We've been using the word 'boom' a lot," commented Toby   
"And we'll erase the dean's memory."  
The dean quickly began to transform from one thing to another; a giraffe, a snake, a rabbit, a tree, and then into a big pile of goo.   
"TOBY! STOP PLAYING!!"  
"Sorry." In yet another flash of light, the campus was restored, and the dean was back in his office.   
"Ah, my feet are made of goo!"  
"Toby…."  
"No fun at all." The dean's feet returned to normal instantly.   
Margar began to address the readers-  
  
We hope you have enjoyed this installment of Skoztch Tape (the Z is silent). Tune in next time for another lust-filled, mystical, hilarious episode of Skotch Tape. What will the title be next time? Let's go with……Xotch Xape (nothing ever starts with X)   
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Sailor Moon or any of its affiliations in any way, shape or form. (Gawd, how many disclaimers can we cram into one series?)   
  
Yes I know the disclaimer was supposed to be at the beginning, but what fun would it have been if you had known that Sailor Moon would have some how been incorporated into the story? No G-Boys were harmed in the transformations to Sailor Senshi or Cat. Relena can be found in the ICU, but, unfortunately, Wufei has escaped us once again. But don't worry, we'll get him eventually.  
  
Toby- I think we should end it now.   
  
Margar- But how? Should it be a big "The End" or a little one? Perhaps a question mark?  
  
Toby- Ooooo oooo, how about a little "Fin" in the corner?  
  
Margar- Bye everyone  
  
  
Fin 


End file.
